All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
