Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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