well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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