Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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