Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
