there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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