More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet he comes in French.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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