Joe is yelling at the trees again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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