I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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