i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
