Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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