I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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