I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
