if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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