Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn