Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry