My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close