She is in my trunk
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
