You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is the high leading the old right now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.