she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You are a genius and a whore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
