i just had sex bonerless
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
