So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you made out with another girl for some wings
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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