She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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