this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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