we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
