Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
