Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
