Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
