my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
