I want to make a zoo with you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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