Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
