i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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