it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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