Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.