Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1373) Bad night (463)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  aren't you going with children?

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  (414): can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long (1-414): aren't you going with children? http://tfl.nu/9f28
  Replies (34) Good night (4310) Bad night (1486)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i hope so.

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  (252): woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night? (816): i hope so. http://tfl.nu/2flb
  Replies (18) Good night (5341) Bad night (1338)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.

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  (315): I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine. http://tfl.nu/wyxo
  Replies (9) Good night (4856) Bad night (931)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef

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  (716): So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef http://tfl.nu/t05x
  Replies (4) Good night (2384) Bad night (1144)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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  (303): just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room. http://tfl.nu/ss1c
  Replies (19) Good night (2545) Bad night (528)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.

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  (281): Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet. http://tfl.nu/oj89
  Replies (13) Good night (1851) Bad night (574)
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  (530): View more from California

  for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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  (530): for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... http://tfl.nu/xo9l
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (412)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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  (970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (390)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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  (330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (733)
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  (661): View more from California

  Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing

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  (661): Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing http://tfl.nu/34wv
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (295)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.

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  (330): We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us. http://tfl.nu/w3kf
  Replies (2) Good night (961) Bad night (222)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

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  (228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (449)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.

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  (915): Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas. http://tfl.nu/6zv2
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (209)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?

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  (317): Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/7de2
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (225)

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