Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Say something about gay babies.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single