I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol