Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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