u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
