no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
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