i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
