He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.