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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

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• 

  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yes and yes

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy

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• (805): View more from California

  Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

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• 

  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo

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• (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.

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• (530): View more from California

  I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.

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