So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he fucked my hip out of place.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
