Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize