We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
