I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
