it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
