my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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