I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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