just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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