I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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