i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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