how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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