i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
