I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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