i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
