SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do vagina's smell?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
