I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
