I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am spending my child support on dildos
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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