There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize