Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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