I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
