Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
