just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
