Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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