people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
