Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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