i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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