I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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