saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
