porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
