I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
