he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
