why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
