Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
