Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
